Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The awnings gravity

The night thickened around Ryan as he followed Chad. He couldn't get enough air into his lungs as his hollow footsteps rang across the street. Maybe I should turn around now. This isn't worth it.

But he couldn't help himself. He put one foot after another, heart hammering in his chest, blood swishing behind his ears. The sidewalk was mostly empty. Occasionally they walked by a group of freshmen lugging their books. Once a couple skirted them without taking the time to glance up from each other.

No. He should turn around right now. But in the distance, he could make out the light spilling out from underneath a green awning. White letters scrawled out the word, "Lanassi's" across the side. It was only a block away. He was only a block away from knowing whether this was just a casual get together between friends, or if she was really cheating on him.

The awning must have generated its own gravity. His paced quickened like he was being sucked towards it. Passing Chad, he almost broke into a full run.

And then the door opened.

And Alice walked out.

He stopped, watching as she smiled. That was his smile. The smile he saw when she woke up in the morning and looked at him. The smile she had on right before he shut off the light. The smile she had when she said, "I love you." or "I'm sorry."

And she was smiling at some other guy with it.

Right then, he saw red.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Storming the street/ After the rain

Sorry about not updating for the last couple days. I've been on vacation and watching anime, so I don't really have any excuse. But I'll try to make this one a two parter.

-------

Ryan shook Chad off and hurried after the man with the sunglasses. Clenching his jaw, he almost held his breath. Shit. This day has been just too wierd. The door was swinging shut once he got up to it. He pushed it open and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Gone. The man was just gone.

Twisting back and forth, he sucked in a deep breath, then another, then another. They came quick and fast, getting shallower each time he breathed in. His head started to get light. Stars shimmered in front of his eyes. "What... the... fuck." He muttered. Each word took a breath, so they formed a chorus. "Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck."

He didn't even see Chad come out onto the street, but he did feel the grip of his hand on his shoulder. "Dude... get a grip."

Swinging on the other guy, Ryan's eyes twirled back and forth. "You saw him right?"

"Who? The guy you just threatened in front of the entire bar. Yeah. I saw him."

Pressing the heel of his hand into his eyes, he rubbed them back and forth. "And today is Friday right? Friday, night to be exact."

"Man, are you feeling okay? Because I wouldn't have said anything if I knew that you were going to flip out like this." Chad gripped him by both of his shoulders. His meaty fingers pressing into Ryan's shoulders.

"No, I'm feeling like I'm going crazy." The words tumbled out before he could put a stop to them. But he must be going crazy. Only crazy people saw and heard things that weren't real.

But Chad just told me that Alice was cheating on me.

Or did he?

Ryan still hadn't heard the words. In fact, it could all be a lie. Yeah, in a moment he was going wake up covered in sweat, reach out and touch Alice. "Did you just tell me that Alice was cheating on me?"

"Look man, I just saw her walk into a restaurant with some guy. It really could have been anything." Chad's voice sent another shiver through him. He tried to control his breathing.

"But you did say that didn't you." Ryan's eyes snapped open, staring straight at his friend. His entire face stretched uncomfortably across his skull.

"Um... yeah. Look let me walk you home. You don't look good."

"No. I'm fine." Sucking in a deep breath, he imagined Mandelbrot's fractal. Endless arms stretching out, and within the pattern, new patterns emerged; a flawless formation bringing chaos into order.

For some reason, it calmed him. "What restaurant did you see them at?"

Chad hestitated. His heavy lips curved downward. "Man, you don't want to do this."

"I'm not going to do anything. I just want to make sure she's all right. I'm not going to make a scene." In his head, he kept plunging deeper and deeper into that pattern. His heart still pounded on his ribcage, but he ignored it.

"I'll take you there. But just to look, okay? You aren't going to have any crazy time."

For the first time that night, Ryan laughed. The sound came out like shards of tinted glass.

-------

Havelin paced the edge of the cell. Nothing about this trip had gone right. Prime wasn't supposed to send him out for another twenty-two days, fifteen hours, thirty-six minutes and ten seconds. But he'd been summoned early. The system had been uneasy that day.

And now he knew why. It'd taken him longer than he expected to hunt down the Consecrant. It should have been even more like finding a green penny in a bunch of brown ones then anything else. But something had blocked his search. Prime couldn't tell him what.

But whatever it was, had trapped him in a cell that was ten feet by ten feet. Someone had carved "Jesus Saves" into the cinderblocks. There was a bunk bed with starched sheets and a stainless steel toilet.

But none of it was real.

Or at least not real like the Consecrant was real. It was hear because it was supposed to be here.

"Oh I can see clearly now the rain is gone," someone sang off-key as they came down the hallway. A shiver shot through Havelin. The person behind that voice was real.

"Who are you?" Havelin yelled down the hallway. None of the other cells had anyone in them.

"I can see all the obstacles in my way." The man finished, stepping around the corner. The Guide wasn't taken in by the average appearance. Instead he saw the coding behind the person. He was supposed to be about 5' 5" and about 120 pounds. The bone structure should be slightly feminine and Caucasian. But the coding had been altered on a surface level and reaffirmed by the Consecrant.

"You know it's a shame that you can't die." The man with the sunglasses whined. "You're really mucking up shit sitting in this cell."

"Who are you?"

"You're really stuck on that. Do you need a designation so you can label me as friend or foe?"

"No, I've already figured out that you're an enemy. But I would like to call you something." He stopped in the middle of the cell, leaving himself relaxed.

The man sighed. "Okay. You can call me Zorbod the Magnificent. Would that make you feel better?"

"No. But it does help. Will you release me Zorbod?"

"Ahh. If I say yes, then you can just wait until I do and then you can pick up Ryan. And if I say no that gives you permission to alter reality." The man smiled. Havelin saw his teeth should be slightly crooked.

"Unless I determine that you're lying."

"Well I always lie."

"Stupid paradoxes are a waste of your time. I'm not going to spend all day trying to figure them out."

"Again, that's a shame." The man came right up to the bars. "But you're late. My plan is already in motion. I certainly can't kill you. But I can keep you there until I'm done."

Raising a hand to the bars, Havelin tried to find the coding for them. But it was a blank slate. The bars were as real as the Consecrant, as real as Zorbod, as real as Prime itself.

The other man grinned.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

In the other hand

Ryan shot out of his seat, heading toward the man at the table. Something was bothering him about the way the he sat, staring at his computer screen, while all of this had happened. It wasn't that anyone else had noticed that time had hopped forward, or the red-haired man Ryan had been drinking with had suddenly disappeared.

Then it dawned on him. There wasn't any reflection in the sunglasses. There wasn't a computer screen there. A chill crept through the bottom of his stomach as he got halfway across the room. The hairs along the back of his neck stood up. What the... Does this man know that I've seen him? The thought rolled through his brain even as the person took off the sunglasses, folded them carefully and slipped them into a case.

He measured out his steps, but he'd already crossed the distance between them there wasn't any backing out now. The other man didn't really look like anybody, or rather he looked like the statistical probability of everyone put together. His skin was tan, but not tan enough to be Mexican, but too light to be Caucasian. Round eyes stared out from flat cheekbones and an average nose. In fact, if it wasn't for the sunglasses, Ryan wouldn't have noticed him anywhere.

"Can I help you?" When the other man spoke, it again sounded generic. Not nasal, not too high, not too low, emminently and utterly forgettable.

"Who are you?" Ryan's heart still sped in his chest, but he forced the words out.

Snapping the laptop closed, the man stood up. Ryan guessed he was about five foot ten, but right now he wasn't sure about much. The man smiled, showing a set of perfect teeth. "That isn't really important. I'm going now, so if you'll excuse me."

When the man started past him, Ryan snapped out an arm. "Wait! You know what's going on here."

Raising an eyebrow, the man kept the same placid smile. "And what's going on here?"

"You know damn well. I saw you earlier today in the lobby. That's when all of this started, you were there." The words flopped out his mouth. I sound crazy, floated through his head. But he knew he wasn't crazy. He couldn't be crazy. In fact, he was the most sane person he knew.

"Are you sure about that? People always mix me up for someone else." The other guy pushed Ryan's arm out of the way, starting for the door again.

But he couldn't let it sit. Grabbing the guy by the shoulders, he spun him back around. This time he yelled. "No! I know it was you! I saw you!"

The grin slipped away. For a second, the man snarled at him, but it slipped away. "You know you're making a scene. Maybe you should just sit down and have another beer. You look like you've had a rough day."

Now Ryan was sure this man knew something. And if he had to beat it out of him, he'd get it come hell or high water.

Then Chad put a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Calm down there, Ryan."

Switching back and forth between Chad and the man, he wasn't sure whether to take a swing at them both. But then he noticed the entire bar staring at him. The bartender already had the phone in his hand.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Luchroom Confessions

The cafeteria itself was crowded with the normal collection of grad students pouring over papers; sorority girls chatting about clothes and boys; and a few slackers crowded around the two TVs in the corner. And at least one guy who typed furiously on his laptop.

But even with all of those people around Alice's head still spun. I really need to get over this. One way or the other. The tray clanked against the table. She couldn't help sighing when she slid into the seat.

"So who is he?" A grin broke across Mandy's face, showing those crooked teeth. Really, she needed to get those fixed.

"Well I met this guy in the hallway. He said his name was Dustin." She managed, while she pulled back the tin foil on the hamburger.

"Ooo... so you just met him and he asked you out? And you said yes?" The other girl leaned across the table. Her salad forgotten between her elbows.

I should have really gotten the salad. This is going to really make my stomach upset. But she kept pulling back the foil anyway. Without looking, she made a pocket so she wouldn't have to touch the greasy bread. "Yeah. I'm not sure what I was thinking. It all happened so fast. I really should have said no."

"No. You should go with your heart."

"I don't think I was thinking with my heart as it was. It's not that things have been bad with Ryan. He's a great guy." She picked up the hamburger, biting down on it. For a moment, it tasted like the best and worst thing in the world.

"It doesn't hurt to think like that either. You're young. There'll be plenty of time to settle down after you get out of school. And it isn't like Ryan's going to get mad just because you had dinner with some guy. Is he?" Mandy stopped to open up her salad. She tore open the salad dressing.

Alice was still having trouble getting her mind to settle down. This time when she took a bite out of the burger it tasted lifeless and limp. Maybe she's right. It's only one date. No. I can't do that. Then she thought about how Dustin's eyes stared straight into her. How her legs had gotten weak and wobbly. The meat had trouble going around the lump in her throat.

"I don't know if it'll matter if I go on one date. Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Just leave it to Dr. Mandy. I know all the right cures for the heart in distress." The other girl grinned.

"And is that why you haven't found a guy of your own?"

"Well, some of us just have our crosses to bear. Mine is that I can't find a guy who's worthy of appreciating me." She started to pick at her salad.

Alice couldn't help feeling like there was something terribly wrong going on here. But she couldn't put her finger on what it was.

---------

The man in the sunglasses closed his laptop. The target was better than he expected. But he didn't know what was coming. Now all the man had to do was keep unsettling him. Throw the probabilities out of wack, and then he could spring.

Once the girlfriend had cleared out, he took a glance over at the proxy. She'd done well enough. It'd be a shame to waste her. Pausing, he almost didn't notice the flashing on the screen.

Damn, a guide? Here? Fuck.